Everything is different.

I read once that death changes everything. While this is true, it is also true that life changes everything, too. Ask anyone who has ever been a parent and they will tell you that the person they were before they became a parent is not the person they are after. 

Life is a game changer.

Our latest game changer arrived early in the morning of March 1. One minute he was inside of me and the next (through no effort on my part, I assure you) he was in my arms. It happened so fast that Lee and I just laughed. It was painless and effortless and not what experience has taught me to expect and
it made me so happy to hold his tiny little body….

We just laughed, from relief, joy, amazement, and a thousand other emotions that only those first moments with your child can inspire. After all of the worry and stress and drama of the last 9 months, Jago had *arrived*, safe and healthy.

Those first few minutes were magic.

It is also true that each child that comes into a family has no less an impact than the first.  There are differences, of course. I now know what to expect in a way that no book can ever explain. I know I will be tired from too little sleep and too many responsibilities. I know my body will feel like it’s been hit by a truck and that I would gladly forgo just about anything for a hot bath and 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I know time is on my side and that in time we will all find a new normal and that life will once again have a pattern.

For now, however, we all live in a haze ~ trying to figure out who we are in relation to each other now that the dynamic has changed. Jonah is facing the biggest change of all of us ~ despite the fact that he is one, he is no longer the baby of the family. Nyree is now a middle child, sanwhiched between two older and two little brothers. Ian grapples with the craziness of being the oldest of five when he spent 9 happy years as an only child, and Will simply wants some peace and quiet.

And me? I am trying to figure out how this new family works. Its wonderful and messy and painful and confusing.

Its life.

I am trying to hold on to those first few moments with Jago. I am trying to remember that magic is real and it is present each time a new life enters the world. It is why so many of us are willing to accept the pain and confusion of a new child. Despite the hardship, the magic of new life is a joy.

I am trying to remember, despite the difficulties, that our purpose in life is to experience joy.

Breathe. Laugh. Keep calm. Carry on.

Words to live by.